Friday, October 20, 2006

Off pitch and out of sorts

We had Taize worship at my church last night. I look forward to this hour of chant-like singing, silence, and readings, which we do once a month. I wish I could say last night's version was a sublime experience, but it wasn't. One of the women had to leave early, and in order to fit more in before she left we moved things around and cut a few parts short, making it all feel a little disconnected to me. The singing wasn't very good and I thought that had a lot to do with one voice in particular that was loud, off pitch, and preemptive, which tended to drag the rest along to the point where we had to stop at one point and start over again. This problem wasn't helped by the organ, which seemed to be playing everything higher than it should have been. Our organist insisted she was playing everything as written, but I don't usually have trouble reaching notes until we get to d if I'm not really warmed up, and I was straining to hit b's.

Well, you get the picture. I arrived home feeling a little disappointed, but for some reason at the exact moment I came through my back door it hit me that God couldn't care less what the singing sounded like, and if I was unhappy the only possible reason for that was that I hadn't been able to show off my great (yeah, not really) voice. And the reason for moving things around was because the woman who left early was getting ready to go stay with her daughter who is going to have surgery, and she still wanted to be in church for some of the parts she finds sustaining, so making those adjustments for her was absolutely the right thing to do. And if I had a problem because our worship didn't please me that sort of suggested that I thought I was God and it had all been done in my honor.

I had a laugh at myself and I was OK with it, I really think I was, but for the rest of the evening I felt sort of sad, as if I'd lost something I cared about. I'm pretty sure it wasn't all about one evening's Taize worship, but then I'm not sure where it came from.

I'm thinking maybe I'll play something in the car on my way to work that I can sing along with and pretend that I have perfect pitch and see if that helps. (At least I know I'll be playing to a thoroughly appreciative audience.)


At 6:56 PM, Blogger Nancy said...

I have a Taize CD that I played in the car for weeks....singing along of course. I've not had the opportunity to attend a Taize service, but hope to one day.


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