Wednesday, September 06, 2006

It ain't over ...

Lately I seem to have been on a sort of spiritual treasure hunt, searching for clues, figuring each one out, and following it on to the next station--or maybe I should say it's been more like tracing a thin but very strong thread that I'm finding running through so many different things. I feel as if I've been all over the place with this, yet at the same time it all seems very connected.

One stop in this adventure was an article about Ignatian spirituality that led to another article by the same author. Though not as interesting to me as the first, the second contained this statement: "Every so often we are almost overcome by a desire for 'we know not what' and, at the same time, are filled with a sense of well-being." Substitute "most of the time " for "every so often" and you're talking about me. Even though I didn't find the rest of the article particularly helpful, it led me to look for books about Ignatian spirituality, which led to a book called Inner Compass, by Margaret Silf.

It seems pretty interesting, despite some minor annoying quirks, but I've only started reading it, having just finished another book called Discernment and Truth by Mark A. McIntosh. That one I found both exhilarating and maddening, exhilarating because it included some ideas I found tremendously exciting, like the concept of discernment as a way of life and not just a decision-making process, and maddening because it seemed as if every time McIntosh tossed one of these exciting ideas out he immediately went off on a long and not very interesting tangent.

Meanwhile ...

I've been thinking a lot about asking to be formally received into the Episcopal church. And when I say thinking what I mean is something more like holding the idea in prayer. And when I do that I have to say it mostly feels very right. And very scary. And the strange thing is, this started after I, in exasperation, decided I would not think or pray about this subject at all. My Roman Catholic friends may find this alarming, while those in the Anglican camp may be wondering what took so long. All I can say is, stay tuned, folks--cuz it ain't over 'til it's over.


At 3:47 PM, Anonymous Ella said...

I've found that a spiritual journey is never one that is over. At the best, we can only hope to continue to grow and discover. Good luck on your journey!


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