Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Changes

The group that showed up yesterday for the Tuesday afternoon Eucharist in the university chapel was a small (but hardy?) band. It's the last week of classes, junior papers are nearly due, senior theses just completed, and everything is winding down, but each one of us who was present really wanted to be there; I think we recognize that in each other, and appreciate it.

My head was telling me, "You know you belong here in this church." My heart answered, "You know you don't belong here." In church these days in rapid succession I feel joy, sadness, apprehension, confusion, impatience. I make up my mind to go, to stay, to join one church or another, and then I'm sure I'll never be able to make up my mind to do anything at all.

In our reading from Acts, Saul stood by while Stephen was stoned, not realizing how soon he would be a different man. The priest spoke in her homily about change: how we fear it, how we can't escape it; Jesus, she reminded us, tells us not to be afraid.

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